A Hidden Death From Covid

I heard recently of the death of someone who died over the Christmas period. It was a sudden unexpected death and it went unnoticed for some days.

Friends telephoned their friend over a period of two or three days, assuming they might have gone back to family for Christmas. 

They left messages and heard nothing so went round to the person’s home to see if they were there but just not answering the phone. No answer so the police were called. 

The property was securely bolted so it was hard to get it. Experts were needed to remove the protective locks and doors.

Inside, it was as friends and family feared. The person's life force was gone.

The cause of death has been given to some extent so relatives and friends can go on with their mourning. There are toxicology reports to come through but, while those are necessary, they will not impede the process of what happens next.

Meanwhile, there are relatives and friends, officials such as police, medics, locksmiths and paramedics, who are likely to have experienced some form of trauma at the way this poor person left this world. They may be used to dealing with tragic and emergency cases but that doesn’t make it any easier.

And somehow such a death over Christmas seems to make it worse, to die all alone when many of us are celebrating with our loved ones at this time.

I’m told that those who entered the person’s home were shocked at the squalor. There was dirt - of all kinds - and mess as though nothing had been cleaned for years. Takeaway cartons were discarded where they were finished; empty bottles of alcohol lay beside chairs and a sofa and there were no sheets on the one double bed. Just a mattress with a pillow. Nothing else.

The signs might indicate someone with depression or an alcohol problem. I don’t know, I never knew this person. What I am told, however, is that pre the pandemic, they enjoyed meeting friends and going out to the local pub. True, they rarely invited friends into their home but some had been there and not seen anything to concern them.

So, what seems to have changed someone from being a reasonably sociable human being into a total recluse in a period of just less than two years? Yes, that’s what I suspected too. Covid.

It seems this person went into extreme covid-protection mode. They - I’m keeping this gender-free for confidentiality reasons - was very afraid and took the government’s laws, rules and regulations as seriously as it was possible to take them. Perhaps even to extremes.

They ordered all their shopping online, left it outside to allow any germs to dissipate and then slowly and laboriously carried it in with surgical gloves and then washed it all through again. I don’t know how the takeaways were managed but they seem to me to give an indication that, despite all this extreme care (even obsessive behaviour) this person still wanted to live.

So, imagine, you go from being a mildly outgoing person some two years ago with, admittedly some tendencies that a professional might wonder at and bring to your attention, to somebody who continues to live but seems to have also completely shut down. 

The problem was, because of lockdown, such extreme behaviour went unnoticed. There were no checks or balances because no-one was there. All state-run organisations had gone to ground, including GPs, social workers, community carers, and to be fair they were only doing what they were told to do. Everyone had to be kept away. 

That also applied to families. If you were individuals who were all part of one family but lived separately, you either had to bundle together or stay on your ownsome. Unsurprisingly, many people chose to continue to live on their own. After all, it was only going to be for three weeks or so, wasn’t it?

And, in case, we forgot to comply with the latest law or rule - not for our own good, you understand, but either to keep the NHS safe (isn’t it supposed to keep us safe?) or to protect others - we were threatened with a possible £10,000 fine or even a 10-year prison term.

Meanwhile, those who had imposed such draconian laws on us have now been found to have been partying their way around lockdown from almost the start of it. 

So, when I heard about this latest death, I felt both sad and angry because of what covid and lockdown has left for us. 

This particular death will never be added to that strange number reported on the TV and radio that is signalled as being “with” covid, rather than “from” covid - making the numbers impossible to understand. 

Instead, the death certificate will register something quite different. A sad tragic accident that ended the life of someone who was perhaps a little vulnerable. We can be momentarily upset but not too concerned; it’s unusual after all.

Except that I worry it’s not. I imagine there are many more sad deaths like this one that will never be recorded as they should be. Deaths that might have been avoided if not for lockdown and its strange, unconsidered laws and rules that forced us to comply, even when we disagreed. We know they were unreasonable because the behaviour of our political leaders shows us. They partied. They did not believe they were going to die. 

So where do we go from here? I’d suggest it’s an easy one. No apologies, no lessons to be learnt, no waiting for inquiries. Just no. 

We must never let this happen again. 

Photo by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash 

Photo by Deleece Cook on Unsplash

2022 - Facing a Fearless Future

Sometimes a person’s brain seems to be particularly susceptible to an external message. Say, for example, you’re experiencing a feeling of hunger while not being aware of the actual feeling. You may be watching television and you see someone eating some chocolate. “I know,” you think, “I wonder if I’ve got any chocolate. I feel the need for something sweet.” And off you go, none the wiser. 

And that’s how advertising works. By persuading the unaware person that what is being sold is what you want. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it’s just clever psychology.

One phrase has been resonating with me more and more in the past few weeks.  

Don’t be afraid!” is the command I hear, even when I’m least expecting it and when I’m not doing anything that needs particular care. It arrived a number of times over the festive season and it seems to have snuck up from somewhere in my subconscious to reach my conscious mind where it’s been hammering ever since. It’s a constant - one that keeps popping into my head - like an earworm but without the jaunty jingle. 

It doesn’t take too much reflection to understand from where this may be coming. The past two years of our lives have been dominated by fear, not just individually but as a collective. It’s been an extraordinary and exhausting time.

The arrival of Covid-19 at the beginning of 2020 (there are indications it was in Europe as early as November 2019 and the clue may be in the name) took the UK from what appeared to be a nation looking forward with a reasonable share of optimism to a country full of despair. Hopeless, in fact.

Suddenly, we went from being a society full of mainly sociable people to a group of fearful and isolated individuals and the longer we stayed like that, the more fearful we became.

It’s easy to look back and suggest things should have been done differently. Who knows? There’s to be an inquiry into the official handling of the virus and that will offer up its findings in due course. The data will be telling but what it says, I imagine, will be dependent on who’s listening. 

What we do know is that it has always been open to interpretation and, even as recently as last month, we were still being kept in a vortex of terror. One day we were being allowed and encouraged to believe life was on the verge of returning to normal, the next day came omicron and the threat of another complete lockdown. Our political leaders appeared to have no idea - though the scientists seemed determined that their way was the right one - and we were back to a level of uncertainly that does not improve with age. 

There is a glimmer of hope though because there may be signs that we could be experiencing the beginning of the end. If the virus is mutating into a less deadly form, or if the vaccinations are as effective as hoped, then there will be no need for another lockdown.

So what are we to do about the fear factor with which some of us are still left? 

Some people argue that we need to be kept apart and isolated for the good of society as a whole; the opposite of how we were used to interacting. Those people - including some influential scientists - seem to enjoy the status quo. I puzzle to understand that and look to the past for an explanation.

Philosopher Thomas Hobbes put forward the idea of offering total allegiance to the sovereign in exchange for safety. You put your all (including material possessions) at the feet of your sovereign and, in return, he kept you safe. If not, the contract was void. Hobbes was living during the Civil War so we can perhaps understand his reasoning. 

Psychoanalyst Erich Fromm, in The Fear of Freedom, argued that humans are not actually that keen on individual freedom and are drawn to having rules imposed on them from above. That, he explained, was the reason for the rise of the desire for a totalitarian state. He was writing in the 1940s, during World War II, so we can again see his influences.

And moving into the present, journalist Laura Dodsworth talking specifically about this pandemic discusses the theory that it’s easier to control a population if we make them frightened. I don’t think we can deny that we have been frightened. 

I’m hoping against hope all this was not a deliberate plan to frighten us. However, I’m one of those people who believe it’s time to escape from this almost-solitary confinement and to take the risk of living again. 

We need to be brave and draw on the strength we all have within us if only we remember. Personally, I’m going to acknowledge I’m afraid - no, maybe not afraid, maybe just nervous - while continuing with the “don’t be afraid” mantra to allow me to take those first delicate steps to reconnect with the world outside. 

I may even dust down my edition of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway and see what extra tips I can glean. The one thing I do know is that I’m not going to allow another two years to go by before I get back my old level of bravery.

If you watched the latest Strictly Come Dancing, you’ll remember the inspiration winner Rose Ayling-Ellis, who has been deaf from birth. She showed what an amazing talent she is and how resilience and perseverance can pay off. 

She posted this on Instagram: “Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.”

Wise advice.  

 

Photo 1 by Fuu J on Unsplash

Photo by Etienne Girardet on Unsplash